Quick answer
Open the door without forcing disclosure or promising what you cannot provide.
- Start with: Mention what you noticed
- Finish with: Offer a specific next contact
- Pause if: Do not promise secrecy about immediate danger
Primary sources for this guide: World Health Organization mental health guidance; Befrienders Worldwide support directory. Check the source that applies to your location and situation before acting.
Know when to escalate: If the situation involves immediate danger, suspected crime, serious health symptoms or a deadline with major legal or financial consequences, contact the appropriate local emergency service, official body or qualified professional.
A step-by-step plan
Mention what you noticed
Mention the change or absence you noticed without claiming to know its cause. Specific observation feels less like an accusation.
Ask an open, gentle question
Use a question that allows more than yes or no, then accept that the person may not want to talk now.
Listen without rushing to fix
Give attention to what they say instead of immediately offering a solution or comparison. Ask what kind of support would help.
If the person is living with a bereavement, adapt your follow-up using How to Support Someone Who Is Grieving.
Offer a specific next contact
Offer one realistic next contact, such as a call or practical task. Immediate danger requires local emergency or crisis support.
If you need words for a specific, bounded request, use the Help Request Builder.
Common mistakes and warning signs
Use these checks as reasons to slow down and verify the situation. One warning sign alone does not settle every case.
- Do not promise secrecy about immediate danger
- Avoid diagnosing
- Consistency matters more than perfect words
Progress checkpoints
| Checkpoint | What you should have |
|---|---|
| Before acting | Mention what you noticed |
| Before finishing | Offer a specific next contact |
| Reason to pause | Do not promise secrecy about immediate danger |
Final checklist
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Sources and further verification
Rules and official processes vary by country and can change. Use the responsible organization for your location and situation. These starting points may cover a different jurisdiction.
Help.You editors structured this page around the task sequence, reviewed it for avoidable risk and checked that its claims stay within general informational scope. Read our content process.